WHEN AMAZING REALLY IS AMAZING

Reflecting back on all the African trips we have made over the years there is one, maybe two that we can honestly say were amazing experiences. Not that the other trips we have made have been bad. In fact I can quite honestly say we have not really had a particularly bad trip or a bad experience. All have been good to very good.

So what makes an amazing experience?….I’d say uniqueness and the fact that if you could repeat the experience you would definitely say yes and would go back tomorrow, conscious of the fact that somehow the second time is never quite as good as the first.

And where exactly is this special place?…well, its a remote camp called Bitterpan in Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park. Firstly it’s an adventure getting there because it’s located way out in the Kalahari along a narrow sandy track that crosses numerous high dunes between Nossob and Mata Mata.

Let’s just say that even if you fancy yourself as 4×4 competent you will learn stuff on that track and be able to drive anywhere by the time you finally arrive in camp. (The picture below is deceptively benign compared to reality, but it gives a good indication of the remoteness of the landscape you travel.) The dunes you have to cross along the way are steep and the sand soft. Half a wheel off the track and you get bogged. Make sure you take a shovel with you. You are going to need it! The vehicle we hired from Kea Travel had everything except the kitchen sink and a shovel. It didn’t take long to figure out that when it’s forty degrees C outside it’s easier not to get stuck than have to dig a truck sunk to its axles in sand with a plastic cup.

When you finally drag yourself into camp, your first thought looking round at the place is “Well we are here, but there is not much at all here…is there?”

WHAT MAKES BITTERPAN SPECIAL

Bitterpan is a small camp, real small. It is unfenced except for a low barrier round the BBQ pit designed to stop hyenas and jackals coming in and stealing food. The accomodation is four, two bedded huts elevated off the ground and joined by a walkway. In the middle is a communal kitchen/eating area with an old teapot full of holes that has been chomped by a lion hanging as a centrepiece to remind you you are not really alone. The camp faces a dried salt pan surrounded by high dunes with a small waterhole fifty metres or so out from the front of the huts. Behind the huts is the accommodation where Willem, the lone ranger working the camp lives.

If you want isolation, this place is isolated. Which makes you wonder why it’s even there. The desert looks deserted, but it’s actually teaming with life, and because the vegetation is sparse you can see it.

As dusk settled a pride of five lions strolled down from the dunes and across the dry pan to the waterhole and languidly quenched their thirst. And that was when it started to get interesting. Willem, the camp ranger wandered over to watch the lions with us.

Me to Willem “ Willem, do you know these lions?”

“ Yes. They come every few days. They are the troublesome ones”

“ Troublesome??”

“ Yes, they like to chew car tyres, specially the young one there.”

“ What….. what happens when they chew tyres? How do you stop them?”

“ Don’t you know?”

“ Don’t I know what”

Willem looked at me as if I was stupid

“ Everyone who comes here knows!”

There’s me, real nervous now, trying to think what would happen if our tyres got chewed and we are hundreds of kilometres from a tyre shop. It would be days before we would get replacements.

“Willem, come on!…what am I supposed to know…what am I supposed to do???”

“ You rub Handy Andy (a well known brand of ammonia based toilet cleaner) on the tyres. They don’t like the smell…everyone knows this!”

“Have you got any?”

“No, didn’t you bring any? Don’t you know?”

In a panic I went along to the neighbouring huts looking to borrow some Handy Andy and fortunately the guests in the end hut had some. Grabbing it I rushed out back to where the truck was parked less than fifty meters from where the lions were by that time finishing their drink. After a quick splash and polish of the tyres I was back up to the safety of the balcony in front of the hut just as the young troublesome lion wandered past and up to my truck. He gave it a sniff, and then looking a bit dejected that he wasn’t going to get a chew that night wandered off into the darkness with the rest of the pride.

I can tell you the beers round the fire that night tasted real good, and we fully appreciated that the message the holed teapot hanging in the dining area communicated. It turns out it was thrown at a lion chewing someones tyres!

THOSE DAMNED BARKING GECKOS!

Looking forward to a good night’s sleep after the stressful drive and the anxiety of having my tyres chewed we went to bed. And that’s when the real experience of Bitterpan occurred.

The camp is home to hundreds of Barking Geckos. Now, I’d never heard of these creatures. We all know the sound of geckos clicking at night.right?… But these guys don’t click…they bark. And when I say bark…I mean BARK….loud like dogs…..It was a cacophony of noise the whole night.

Eventually, exhaustion took over and I just collapsed into a deep sleep to wake up to the early cool before dawn and a magnificent sunrise and a myriad of footprints in the sand from the visitors to the camp during the night round our truck!

It is truely an amazing place. If you ever get the chance, it’s somewhere you have to visit.

Me…I dream of going back!

KGALAGADI TIPS

• You need a 4×4

• It’s a solid eight- nine hours drive from Johannesburg or Cape Town to Twee Rivieren the main camp and park entrance.

• Plan your trip round the availability of accommodation in Nossob. Try and stay at least three nights in Nossob. It’s a fantastic camp.

• While in Nossob, plan an afternoon at Cubitje Quap waterhole just north of Nossob. Be there by 3.30pm, not a minute later, to witness the sight of thousands of sand grouse coming in to water and being hunted by Goshawks and Jackals. This is National Geographic live. You can’t miss this.

• Travel the dessert track from Nossob to Mata Mata, stopping off in Bitterpan. Remember everyone wants to do this, but you need a booking at Bitterpan to get access to the track.

• Make sure you have a shovel and a bottle of Handy Andy…You will need it!

• Read up and pay attention to the advice on everything you need to bring with you in terms of water and food that’s explained on the SANPARKS website